Nightmare

I've always had very vivid dreams.. nightmares a few as well. This one stood out on the strange-scale and had me pretty weirded out for a couple of weeks. Last July 2010..

It was a fairly big lunch party. 10-20 people from the looks of it. All kinds’ Indian, black and white. A long table was set on the largest open area in a sort of bathroom, a hostel one. People were lounging around the room. A slight disturbance could be noticed among scattered members of the party. Worried looks and puzzled glances. While walking out of hall, I walk by big black man(basketball uniform clad) surrounded by friends, looking very upset. Told myself it was none of my business but when I happened to see him cry just before I shut the door, I asked if he was okay. Big Black man nodded his head vaguely and I walked out, passing the shut door of another room.
Cut to kitchen. Three women were cooking pie. They were joking around at ease. They playfully teased big blonde (4th grade mum in New adventures of old Christine) about being a career woman. Big blonde tells petite blonde that it is good that Petite Blonde has decided to go back to her husband after committing some grave sins. Petite Blonde seems to be in much greater spirits than she was previously. They slice the cheesy pie on a pan which was a bit bigger than the pie itself. Petite Blonde was making up to her husband.
Cut to living room.
Brother’s watching TV. By now, definite bad vibes were apparent. I look out into the sky and see war-of-the-worlds-cloud formation. I tell my brother but he isn’t very shocked as this has seemingly occurred before. So we knew that we’d be safe for a little while longer.
Cut to bedroom. Mother is changing. I ask her if she’s noticing what’s happening. She replies that she hasn’t, but she did realize it was getting darker. I show her the cloud formation. Being too short she, had to crane her neck.
I start walking back to dining room. From a door emerges level-headed Mowlik (or it might have been my dad) who I walk up to. He looks half amused-half concerned. I ask him if his friends inside are okay. He says no, something bad is about to happen. I share my experience of Big Black Man. He nods and walks back in, as I wait. He returns and tells me he does not know what is going on, but his friend just said the world will end on March 17th . March 17th, he says.
I woke up with a jerk.

March 17th of this year is gone.. so hopefully posting this jinxes out the possibility of March 17th, 2012 happening.
Cheers!

Cheerleaders versus Cheerqueens

So one of the new franchisees of the IPL decided to do away with those bold and busty cheerleaders as had become customary, and instead introduce traditional Indian dancers to do the cheering job at the sidelines. What is it with these Pune and Mumbai people that makes them think they're better Indians than the rest of us. I mean look at them: Mumbai INDIANS... Pune Warriers INDIA.. No other teams have India in it do they? It seems to me like they have this inherent need to convince others of their superior brand of patriotism. And then this new cheerleaders development.

For most of us (women, at least) the bimbo cheerleaders were rather annoying and borderline demeaning even, feministically speaking. I wonder if they would have dancing men wearing thongs for a women's version of the IPL... I hope not. Most of these girls especially the foreigners aren't even that pretty.. they just show skin, vapidly smile and dance un-coordinately. And except for the first part, the other two are mighty hard to do in the Indian heat so hats off to them.

What were cheerleaders originally meant to offer to sports, anyway? We've grown up reading books and watching movies that project getting into the cheerleading team as the ultimate fantasy of any high school girl.. which by corollary means that you get to date the soccer captain of course. The idea of an activity developed for sole reason of boosting male egos seems so pointless, frivolous and insulting. Thankfully Indian high schools haven't adopted adopted that particular fad yet. I'm not saying cheerleading is easy. God knows how crazily athletic you need to be to get those moves right, but then why not just call it gymnastics?

Which brings us back to the IPL cheerleaders, who the franchises clearly utilize not because of athletic prowess but only due to sex appeal. Like everything else about the IPL, if you think about it. The IPL is like the pleasure I imagine one would derive from a tasteless energetic quickie.. a one night stand, as opposed to a test match that gives us the satisfaction of a fulfilling marriage.. initial excitement.. ocassional bland patches.. but so much more wholesome. So now that we've justified the role of the cheerleaders in the IPL ie. to tantalise and nothing else, is there a need for the interference of Mohiniaatam, Bharatnatyam and other elegant Indian art forms into this tacky display? Obviously, Subrato Roy, with his righteous moustache 'n all wants to make a statement, but I think its unnecessary. Ultimately, the dancers themselves go through a whole lot of hassles with costumes, make-up and choreography to cheer a crowd that understandably isn't in the mood to appreciate the detailed nuances of such dance forms. It doesn't make sense.

Want to feel Intelligent? Bully Rebecca Black.

By now I think everybody must've heard Rebecca Black's Friday. 99.98% of reviews were terrible, merciless, shameful and indicative of how much we, as a society need to exert our supremacy over seemingly less intelligent entities.
The remaining 0.02% were good reviews, all found in Blacks' official website, by different people who all suspiciously had the same display picture, and names like Drew Peacock. However fact remains that in a week she's raked in abt 15 million views i think. Anyway majority of the flak is being faced by the lyrics of the song; which is the bit I think is a little unfair.

Of course with lyrics like -
Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today
Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after...wards
I don’t want this weekend to end
- i'd be crazy to deny the sheer stupidity of the writers, but if you look at a lot of artists who're multiple award winners and billboard toppers then you'd have to face the truth that bad lyrics have been a part of our day for years before Rebecca Black. Take a look..

Stop, talk, talk, talking that blah, blah, blah
Think you'll be getting this? Nah, nah, nah
Not in the back of my car, ah, ah
If you keep talking that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
-Ke$ha, Her debut single, "Tik Tok", released in late 2009, reached number one in eleven countries; Currently doing a tour called Get Sleazy tour..

Womanizer, Woman, Womanizer
You're a Womanizer, oh Womanizer oh
You're a Womanizer, baby
You you you are, You you you are
Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer (Womanizer)
-Britney Spears, Disney product, Started off being a poster-child for pre-marital modesty..ended up being married thrice, the shortest one lasting a day?

January, February, March, April, May
June, July....
August, September, October,
November, December
- Boney M (erm.. yea thats the whole song)

So when we've forgiven these stars, even liked their songs, why are we stooping so low as to publicly bullying a 13year old child like Rebecca? I say we, because I've made fun of her myself. But i read some comments that supposedly educated and fashionably disdainful people have written and i was disgusted. There were comments like "I hope you cut yourself and I hope you get an eating disorder so you'll look pretty. ..."
Clearly, this is a sign of extreme insecurity?

Ark Music Factory (the record label that signs these kids) is a conscience-less, money-hungry, manipulative, bunch of masochists who don't care either about the number of youngsters they are leading on, nor about the negative light they are projecting themselves in.. as long as there's good money.

If you need to understand where I'm coming from, watch another video by a 12 year old Jenna Rose called 'My Jeans'. Clearly this sweet kid needs some urgent counseling.

Kids, wait till you're 17 to look sexy and get slaughtered by the media. You won't regret it.

Graduation Day Apathy

March the 26th is our convocation day. The day we get presented our Masters degrees. As tedious as my couple of years in SRMC was, I decided to go, if not for love for the University, at least out of the sentiment that it would probably be the last time the dysfunctional set of MSc Bioinformatics pursuers would be in one place willingly.

[from usnews.com]


I wouldn't even have to take a day off from work I figured. I could just walk in after work on Saturday at about 3, snatch my degrees, say the customary Hi's and Byes to fellow classmates and lecturers and walk off.. maybe after lunch at KFC with the few ones I have some affection for.
But turns out that's not the way Graduation ceremonies work. There's a rehearsal. A bleddy rehearsal.
On the day before. Not just that, we had to report at some unearthly hour to get the robes (I'm taking a wild guess they'll be yellow) and just to keep up with the trend of getting on my nerves, the college has a dress code. And not the kind they enforce every day ie. salwar kameez. They want us to wear Saris.
That was the last straw.
I'll get my degree from the courier man thank you very much.

What a negative attitude to have, many of you will wonder. But somehow I've never been psyched about Graduation Day like my peers. My first graduation, for my bachelors degree in VIT I never went for. Received that by post as well. And looks like it'll be the same this time. While the others cherish this day forever, the caps, the robes, the customary photo with proud mummy/daddy has never been done.

I guess I just haven't felt like I've accomplished something close to me, in my life so far. I've never graduated from something worthwhile enough to me. Hopefully that will happen at some point.

Someday, I too will switch the Graduation Tassel.

Amen!

Coin toss and Drawing lots..

I was going through ICC rules regarding Quarter-final qualification at work. And I this cracked me up.

[From Cricinfo.com]
'In the event of teams finishing on equal points in its Group, the right to play in the quarter-finals will be decided in the following order of priority:

* The team with the most wins in the Group matches will be placed in the higher position.

* If there are teams with equal points and equal wins in the Group matches then in such case the team with the higher net run rate in the Group matches will be placed in the higher position (refer below for the calculation of net run rate).

* If following the net run rate calculation above there are teams which are still equal, then the team with the higher number of wickets taken per balls bowled in the Group matches in which results were achieved will be placed in the higher position.

* If still equal, the team which was the winner of the head to head match played between them will be placed in the higher position.

* In the highly unlikely event that teams cannot be separated by the above this will be done by drawing lots. '

I guess it makes sense, but it's so out of the blue. All those dignified sounding tie-breaking techniques and if nothing works... Eenie meenie miney Mo!
Its bizarre how much random selection plays a role in our lives without us realizing it..

My Trysts with the Animal-kind

[Image from gturskyte.blogspot.com]

I'm not an animal lover. I'm not an animal hater either - i mean except for eating birds and the occasional mammal, I don't have a tiger skin rug and I probably would never consider wearing a fur coat and stuff. But I've always been a little scared of animals, even dogs; which is when I come to think about it, a little puzzling because we used to have a pet dog till I was around 2 I think. And I have vaguely vivid memories of cuddling with Benji.. So i can't have been born this way.

Now however I am definitely not one of those people (see Swathi, you finally got a mention :) ) who can feed and pat strays or even the neighbor's pet dog. Or cat for that matter.. or birds (I don't like creatures that flap their wings..yes butterflies included; they give me the shivers). I'm not a bad person I promise, and I really wish I could be more of a dog person, I think having a pet can give a person a lot more character. I'd like to marry a guy with a big dog I think.. so my kids don't end up freaks like me.
Anyway, I got thinking at work today.. have animals really done anything to scar me for life?? And then the answer came to me...

YES!

As an establishment of this fact, I present to you, my loyal (read unfortunate) blog-readers EVIDENCE... Kingdom Animalia is out to get me.

1. Mojo-jojo
In my 1st year in VIT, there was a miscreant skulking in the girls Hostel... a monkey. And not those mischievous little ones with thin limbs. These were roughly the size of a 10yr old boy (those who know my brother, think of him). My roommates and me had already caught sight of 1 or 2 and once I answered the knock on our door and it was none other than the smart simian himself. You'd think the story ends there, and so did I. My quota of monkey contact is over for this lifetime at least, I assumed. So imagine my horror when I looked up at the wall of my bathroom cubicle the next morning, mid-shower, and found myself looking at a giant monkey looking down casually at me.. Yes I screamed. No I did not run out starkers.

2. To bee or not to bee.
Second year.. different hostel block.. different animal problem. There was the mother of all beehives that persistently kept building up in the corridoor right in front of the bathrooms. Just the buzzing and the sight of those millions of insects crawling inside the big fat hive gave me the creepies. And then I have to imagine that promiscious queen bee in the middle killing all the soldier bees after they pleasure her.. Can you blame me, seriously?

3. The Dog and the Kebab
Those of you who know me should know one thing. Besides my family, there's one thing that I'm very touchy about. And that's chicken. Things like not acquiring my choice of chicken piece are liable to make me extremely cranky. So while I can't think of one incident that might have caused me to be a little averse to dogs, i can think of a few that certainly led to the deterioration of my inclination towards the creatures. Like this one. I was walking on campus munching on a Chicken kebab Roll with my friend Naimi, when a stray started following us. My heart was racing but I just kept walking, while Naimi completely lost it and made me throw my roll as bait to make the dog stop following us. Naturally at that vulnerable state of mind I did it. But I was devastated. It was a really juicy roll.

4. Waspish..
Like bees, wasps till last summer were a nightmare to me. But something happened in Bangalore that both erased my fear for them AND heightened my hatred for them. I had gone to spend the weekend in Chennai and was returning to my room in Bangalore at around 4 AM, looking forwarded to getting the final 2hrs of sleep before work begun. Dragging my suitcase into the flat, I unlocked my room opened it to find a heart-sinking sight. For some inane reason I'd forgotten to close a window and left the tube-light switched on. As a result there were about 200 wasps crowded around the light and the curtain. Sleep, like chicken is another thing I'm touchy about and more than the fear, I was livid. How dare those thoughtless buzzing nincompoops take over my room and deny me my sleep! Blood boiling, I single handedly killed every single one of the wasps with my Bata chappal. And I got some sleep after that. Take that Phylum/Kingdom/Class Insectae!

5. Others
Crows shit on my hard washed clothes.
Pigeons make a nest in my shoe.
Mosquitoes are dumb. I'm not even sorry when I fry them with the bat.
Rats are rats.

I'm a terrible terrible person. I'l probably be a mosquito in my next life. And the mosquito will be me, frying me with a bat..with a smirk.

It's not the End of the World.. or is it?

I was browsing TV channels today when I saw that Independence Day was running on Star Movies. If my dad did not want the remote and if my brother didn't have exams, I might just have sat down and given it a watch. There's something about Doomsday movies isn't there... even to a skeptic like me. Because being skeptical is one thing; crossing the fine line separating it from blissful obliviousness is another.
And as easy as it is to believe that the Earth is invincible, that we've been around for billions of years and we can do another million just fine, that the Y2K, 2012, Roswell theories are all merely conspiracy theories writers and movie makers thrive on, there's still the nagging feeling of is anything permanent?
Everything has to end right? Can immortality stretch to encompass the non-abstract? Okay, that sentence sounded a bit pompous, but what I'm trying to say is how much sense does it make to keep believing that our world is forever?
So let's say the Earth, like you and me has it's expiry date. Then there has to be a perpetrator . What are the possibilities...

a) Environmental Disaster?
Lets face it. This does seem the most likely at the rate we're disposing/deforesting/procreating.
Movie equivalent: 2012, Day after Tomorrow

b) Meteor Impact
I read in a NASA article that this did cause the extinction of Dinosaurs (am i wrong to be relieved?) So it can very well happen again, it's been a few million years.. Maybe it won't even be a planetary annihilation.. maybe humans will disappear like the dinasaurs. I just cowardly hope that I'm at the focus of impact so I don't have to see anything.
Movie Equivalent: Armageddon

c) Microbial Epidemic
SARS, Bird Flu, Swine Flu.. We've all seen it happen. No reason why it shouldn't happen on a larger scale. I'm a little skeptical about Cannibalism however.
Movie Equivalent: 28 days later,Dawn of the Dead, The Happening etc..
Book Equivalent: Cell - Stephen King

d) Extraterrestial Invasion
Science states the existence of millions of galaxies in the Universe. Meaning gazillions of planets. The chances of Earth being the only one with life are negligible. There has got to be another 10000 planets at least with intelligent life on it. Let's just hope they're friendly..
Movie Equivalent: Independence Day, War of the Worlds

So that's all I came up with. I don't mean to be morbid I swear; I'm just naturally a little unhealthy in my thinking. If my writing was so powerful that it's scared any of you, don't be. Read this interview with a NASA scientist. I dare say he knows more..

http://www.nasa.gov/topics/earth/features/2012.html

Happy Weekend!