Tape of my Life

The Sony Walkman, 1979-2010
I think my generation is probably lucky or unlucky in the sense that we got to get hooked onto the widest variety of technological trends. Right from the VCR and Walkmans to CD’s and VCD’s to i-Pods and DVD’s, from Super Mario to Wii, we’ve been there, done it all.
The wonderful thing about audio tapes was that it made us listen to the whole tape, not just the tracks we thought we loved. I listened, I learnt, I loved, turned the tape to Side-B, Repeat. CD’s and i-Pods have that one evil. We’re tempted to shun a song before really giving it a chance. Ofcourse its convenient, and I don’t think I’d willingly turn back time but its still kind of sad.
My walkman got me through my 3am mornings and 1am nights in school, my first ever nights in hostel, and countless road trips to Kerala. It was through my Walkman that I fell in love with Green Day, with Coldplay, with James Blunt, with Five for fighting with A.R.Rahman. My Walkman acquainted me with Avril Lavigne, and Simple Plan and Eminem, all of whom frankly sound immature now.
In a twisted way, maybe even my radio passion might have rooted from the Walkman. Archana’s Modern Rock Album made me love John Ondrasik. My John Ondrasik craze made me request RJ Ganesh on FM Rainbow for the song. The acceptance of that first request resulted in a not-too-minor-obsession with radio shows.. and RJs.. That phase passed, thank god for that. But my love for radio didn’t, thank god for THAT. So in a very very roundabout way the Walkman made me what I am today :). I love to be dramatic, yes.
How elated I would be every time my dad let me buy an audio cassette! English CD’s cost Rs 150, no tiny amount even now. I’d be on a cassette high for a couple of weeks atleast, during which time I’d listen to the whole album again and again and again and again.. I’v never disliked a song in any of the tapes I’v owned.
It’s a logical step to terminate their production, but the implication and the realization is surprisingly emotional for me, and I suspect a lot of others.

Bollywood+Books=Chalk+Cheese ?

Chetan Bhagat. I'm not sure if I qualify as a fan. The main reason I own his books is because they're priced so conveniently. His books are a fun read. Very relate-able, very simplistic and I appreciate him for the fact that he's gotten thousands of non-readers to read.
I almost always stand up for him when my friends trash him. And I'm nonchalant when people rave about him to me. That's the kind of relationship I have with CB's books.
But one thing I have never understood about authors, and especially CB is how they can allow,watch and tolerate their books becoming demeaning ultra silly movies.
I mean i wonder that about J.K.Rowling too, but despite my deep dislike for the HP movies they're not THAT undigestable.
But CB movies. Where do i start.. It all begins with the most flawed casting you can imagine. Its like watching Brad Pitt playing Harry Potter.
Which is saying a lot. Because its not even like CB's characters are that memorable. They're nice, but there's nothing to get attached to you know.. I mean I can't even recall the names of the guys in 5 point someone though I liked the book. You feel for them when they're front of you but there's no lasting impression.
So to cast badly enough to spoil even this is saying a LOT!
Now I hear Priyanka Chopra (Tam-Bram?) and Saif Ali Khan (college-kid?) are playing the leads for 2 states- the movie.
'Nuff said.
Then there's item numbers. I mean come on. You know something's wrong if you have such less confidence in your script that you think u must add an item number to the movie (about a phone-call from God, nonetheless) to make people watch it.
And it still did not work.
I liked 3 idiots but I'm not counting that as a 5 point someone remake sorry.
I just think CB should love his books a little more.

Picnics with Yusuf..

Fridays were our Sundays. Our mums had the idea of setting up an outdoor picnic for us. We used our white plastic round table and chairs on the lawn.. There were packets of chips, and Coke and candy and all the unhealthy junk that kids swear by. It was the middle of the desert but funnily enough I don't ever remember feeling the heat in my 5 years in Al-Khobar. Me, Ujwala, Tejas, Rachna, Lakshmi and this Arab looking kid who i recall being named Yusuf used to sit around. I think we even had a beach ball to add to the picnic-iness of the atmosphere..
That was the essence of my life in Saudi Arabia.. It made me experience the best bit of being a child.. friends that doubled up as sisters. Parties, Parks, Skater-Barbie, free Tazos, chicken flavored chips, lots and lots of space..
In a lot of ways I'm really happy I didn't spend my adolescence in Saudi - infact I wonder if i would've grown up to be a completely different person if i had - but special circumstances make me wonder..what if... We would have lot more money than we do now that's obvious. I would most likely be obese. Nitin might or might not be in the picture..And I'd probably have done an engineering degree and I'd be doing my Masters somewhere in the US of A probably... quite probably I'd be doing well..might even have fooled myself into thinking that's what I want to do..
Does Everything happen for a reason? or are our lives just a chain of coincidences?

From Ribosomes to Radio..

[Image from www dot trak dot in]

Got my first pay today. Its not much at all..in fact my driver reportedly earns more. But that makes sense doesn't it? I bet he does more work than me anyway.
Anyway, its amazing how much a first pay can mean to a person irrespective of the amount. I used to see people with facebook updates that expressed the same thing and i always secretly wondered what the fuss was about. Now i realize that, at least for me, I'm hardly thinking of what to do with the money. I'm just so freakin' proud of myself. I think the main reason is cuz i can confidently say that I did it all by myself from the beginning. Of course my crazy-assed friends made me believe I could do this but for a change this is one step in my life I'v taken with no external strings attached. So thats what this cheque means to me. Freedom. Pride and Responsibility.
That and the elation that I actually lasted 1 month at a radio station.. !!

There are 2 types of people in this world......

My ENT doctor kicks ass! And that's very generous of me considering he doesn't seem to like me much. My first appointment he lectured me on how the ear isn't a dustbin to be cleaned (when i told him abt my cotton bud usage. So sue me :p ). My second appointment he was ticked off with me because I forgot my prescription (Amma's fault). During the de-waxing session he snapped at me only around 27 times. 'Please don't move', he said, except it felt more like 'Stay still Dammit!'
Yeah so i'm fairly certain I'm not his favorite patient.
So why do i thinks he kicks ass? because that blunt to-the-point rudeness is so refreshing! Its the sugarcoated folks that attract the most praise but its the mean do-gooders that actually do the difficult stuff.
I'm not ashamed to say I'm one of the sugarcoated lot. Yes. Pains me to admit it but I can't help but want to make people feel good! That makes me feel good. You see where i'm going?

Let me break it down for you. See, 2 kinds of people who do good.
1. Crowd Pleaser (Me, Peter Keating)
2. Meanie (My ENT, Howard Roark )
Me and ENT being real world examples, and Keating and Roark (Read Fountainhead) being slightly exaggarated but powerful examples.

Now ABC meets type-1 and type-2.
ABC represents the common man, of average education, average views and the behaviour of ABC in the following scenarios are at a random time when ABC is in an average mood.
In Scenario 1 and 2 ABC is going for a party wearing horizontal stripes that unbeknownst to him/her (okay who am i kidding..ABC's a girl), accentuates her unflattering flabbiness.
In Scenario 3 and 4 ABC is a persistent yet so-far-unpublished writer. In all 4 scenarios ABC asks type-1 and type-2 for their views.


Scenario 1
ABC: Hi Type-1! Do I look fat? :(
Type-1: No! I think you look hot!
ABC has a blast at the party.

Scenario 2
ABC: Hi Type-2! Does this make me look fat? :(
Type-2: Yea.. It actually does.
ABC: Oh..

My Analysis
Okay in my opinion, Type-1 did the wiser thing here. When it comes to such superficial things like clothes and looks, if a couple of white lies can make the person a more confident person then why the hell not! If ABC was wearing it in the first place, then ABC likes it, ABC just needs a self esteem boost. You dont ask someone how you look unless you think you might look good. Now all Type-2 would have done is make her self conscious and possibly ruined her night, (Don't kill me if you're feminist) just for something as inconsequential as her body structure! Lets move on to Scenario 3 and 4..

Note: In scenario 3 n 4,ABC, though a persistent writer isn't as talented as he thinks he is.

Scenario 3

ABC- I'v sent my manuscript to the 15th publishing company..
Type-1- Don't lose hope man..Keep trying and you'l breakthrough someday.


Scenario 4
ABC- I'v sent my manuscript to the 15th publishing company..
Type-2- Listen kiddo. I think its time to move on..

My Analysis
Now this is a very sensitive scenario. And in these types of life altering times is when I feel type-2 is the hero. Think about it. If ABC had Type 1's all around him he/she would possibly live his whole life in the delusion that IT will happen one day. All this time maybe ABC's actual calling is cooking! Or animation. And ABC ends up wasting a large part of his life chasing something he believes he loves.
On the other hand, type-2 might have just made an enemy in ABC, but if it is true, and the possibility of truth in what Type-2 said will linger in ABC's mind, and it might lead to ABC realizing 1 of 2 things- either type-2 is right and I have better things in store for me elsewhere, OR I love writing, enjoy writing and henceforth I would stop writing to please the publishers and type-2 and start writing just because.
I don't think I'v been my concise-est best in describing this but I'v tried my best. What I'm trying to say is, as bitter and painful as it may seem like, type-2 actually did the right thing for ABC!

So for those of you who are still reading this, I'm done with my rant now :) Most of this has been inspired by Fountainhead (ayn rand) and personal experience. I've been ABC at so many different points in my life. Its quite possible I've been Type-1 too. But i'm trying real hard to get the mental strength to be more type-2 and i know i'm getting there.
So this is dedicated to the Type 2's in my life and the Type 1's who've told me i don't look fat ;)

Would Life Have been Different?

You know how sometimes, something happens, you see something, and it makes you feel something indescribable that you just havejot down in your blog so you don't forget that feeling? Well.. This is not one of those times.



Would Life Have been Different?

If not for that X, if I was a Y,
Would I be that different, born a guy?
If the doctor’s hand shook, If I hadn’t cried,
Would I have suffocated and died?

If the last two lines somewhat despair,
I like morbidity, come on! Grow a pair.
That brings us back to the point of this poem.
But points are overrated, like Paris and Rome.

Was there a point to the Taj Mahal,
Why is water vellam and milk paal?
Okay, I know I might be wrong,
But who cares, after all life’s a song.

What I’m actually trying to say is,
Mallika Sherawat’s a snake in Hiss,
Now you’re thinking, I’m a waste of space on earth,
But hey! People said that about Colin Firth.

Though that seemed like a nice way to sign off,
My fingers are restless, they can’t hear that scoff,
Funny I should mention the auditory sense,
My ears have been feeling uncharacteristically dense.

Today’s almost over, and so is this verse,
I really don’t need to hear you curse.
This is what happens when nothing inspires,
I might as well say Austin Powers is Mike Myers.

HALF DEAF - A True Story

I'm half deaf today, and possibly tomorrow. While the actual story is pretty dull I thought I'd spice it up a bit with some rhyme.. An old Hobby.

HALF DEAF - A True Story

One ear, you’d think I can live without,
One unattractive appendage flapping about,
Yet that ear when blocked with wax,
Pisses you off more than income tax.

Those villanous sticks of cottonous ends,
Tempted me daily, I thought them friends,
Instead of polishing my cochlea clean,
They pushed the wax too far to be seen.

The doctor of the Ear, Nose and Throat,
With stern eyes and glistening coat,
Poked and prodded, and shook his head,
I thought its all over, my ear is dead.

As it turned out, the wax was just hard,
A few drops and it shouldn’t be a hazard,
Hoping and Praying the doctor is right,
No sound, No music, Imagine my plight!

The Amazing Race - My Fantasy Teams..

I started watching this reality series years back, when AXN used to air them very late but I never knew the difference anyway. It quickly became one of my all time favorite TV programmes ever. Phil Keoghan is my hero. The show is a masterpiece for so many reasons. To summarize, The Amazing Race is a race around the world, with 11 teams of 2 who fight elimination at the end of nearly each episode. Each team has 2 people who share a specific bond - among what i'v seen there's been mum-daughter, grandad-grandson, gay couple, husband-wife, siblings, roommates, colleagues etc..
What makes this show unique is how they manage to establish this feeling of closeness between the teams and the viewers of the show without resorting to mindless shallow nonsense like romances, bitching, and other drama. Each episode is so jampacked with action that its amazing how the editors manage to get each contestant's personality across without any fabrication.
Like for example today's episode had me rooting for Micheal and Kevin to finish, the father-son duo so much that there was a lump in my throat. I was literally jumping up and down in glee when Kevin (the Dad) actually overcame his fatigue to finish the leg just so he doesn't let his son down. And Micheal was so unbelievably supportive.
This show always exhilarates me.
Like every fan does, obviously i've thought about what it would be like to actually participate. I wonder who i'd take...

Scenario 1: Nandita and Bindu - Daughter/Mother
Most likely outcome: We'll have a lot of goofy fun for sure. But the physical tasks will do us in. Also Amma will probably be too scared that i'll fall in love with some cute co-contestant and arguments will ensue.

Scenario 2: Nandita and Raju/Jayaraj - Daughter/Father
Most likely outcome: We'd make an awesome team. But I can't watch acha doing the tasks with his backache.

Scenario 3: Nandita and Archana - Best Friends
Most likely outcome: Snort... Considering neither of us possess the fitness to last or the social skills to talk our way through... We do have our intellect though! Right?

Scenario 4: Nandita and Nirupama - Cousins
Most likely outcome: Okay, to be honest I'm pretty sure Thama at some point (or more) would lose her cool with me or while driving and i would get into a stubborn tantrum. Its been known to happen..

Scenario 5: Nandita and Nitin - Siblings from hell
Most likely outcome: He pisses me off. I lecture him. He stops talking to me. Elimination.

Scenario 6: Nandita and Swathi - Friends and Rivals (*wink wink;) )
Most likely outcome: Swathi might actually be useful considering her expertise in French.. And she has stamina.. But I can't trust her. She might fraternize with a good looking enemy..

Scenario 7: Nandita and Anuragh - Very contrasting Friends
Most likely outcome: This one i'v actually seriously thought about! Anuragh's pretty much done it all and probably has the people skills. I have the brains and the charm (really!). But then again if we lose it will proabably be because of me and I definitely have too much pride to risk having that happen!

Scenario 8: Nandita and Mridula - Ex-Roommates and Lunatics
Most likely outcome: Haaaa! This would be crazy fun! Drama guaranteed with Mri's uninhibitions and my nagging. Even if we last one leg it will definitely be a memorable experience!

Scenario 9: Nandita and Alekhya - Ex-roomies and Catfighters
Most likely outcome: Oh this one should increase the TRP's.. Chappal fights, blood, bald-spots galore!

Scenario 10: Nandita and Naimi - Ex-roomies and Confidantes
Most likely outcome: We'd make a pretty good team actually. Both of us can keep a calm head, work together..but fitness would pose a major challenge. I really wouldn't want Naimi to die during a stunt :\

So those were the 10 scenarios i could think of till now. None are perfect but thats the spirit of the game i suppose!

From nowhere..

KERALA CAFÉ - What I made of it..

I tend to get affected by movies not often, but still more than I think the average person does. There are a number of Malayalam movies which have left a deep impact on me, like Thanmathra, Kadha Parayumbol..off the top of my head. Today I watched a movie called Kerala Café. The concept was not completely radical in terms of world cinema, but was a first in the Malayalam film industry as far as I know. The movie comprised of 10 more-or-less independent stories. While there were a lot of positives to each of the stories, my reaction varied from mild confusion to very impressed. Here’s a list of the 10 stories and why I liked/disliked each one.

1. Nostalgia

The first story/documentary, Nostagia I think would be my pick of the lot. It handles a very subtly negative character played by Dileep. There’s a bit of this character I feared I might be relating too. I don’t remember the name of the protagonist – let’s say it was ABC. ABC seems to be a by-the-book successful, sufficiently popular family man who rose from humble beginnings, something he never forgets, and never fails to emphasize to his acquaintances. ABC is a man of big words, philosophies, justifications, but it doesn’t take you long to realize he is not as sincere as he might seem. ABC is a character I think a lot of us are in danger of becoming if we get too caught up in ourselves. Self obsession, I think was ABC’s disease, and self obsession I believe would be his downfall

2. Island Express

Island Express started out as a puzzling film. I kept waiting for the different pieces to fall in place but it never quite did, for me at least. It could be because of my poor comprehension skills, but it did not impress me much overall. It revolved around a tragic train accident (The Island Express)- that happened 2 days after I was born, if I’m not mistaken, and the survivors of the mishap.

3. Lalitham Hiranmayam (The Story of 2 women)

This rather absurd (purely my opinion) story is about the bond between the 2 women in a man’s life, his wife and mistress. It unnecessarily melodramatises the issue of infidelity. As far as I am concerned, the husband is just a weak character who enjoyed the love of two women and needlessly put them through a lot of pain. The way it was put across made me feel the film-makers were trying to make us empathize with the husband, when all I could muster was a feeling of reproach for the man and disbelief at how well the women adjusted to the idea in the end.

4. Mrityunjayam

Possibly the most meaningless of the lot, Mrityunjayam attempts at what I really do not understand. If it was meant to be a horror documentary then it failed. Many of the scenes seemed to play any role in the overall story and if the story line was supposed to send any message across, then it was lost. The parts that did intrigue me turned out to be nonsense in the end.

5. Happy Journey

Possibly the most light hearted story of the lot, Happy Journey, very entertainingly (is that a word?) describes how a slimy, sleazy, female-crazy yet harmless married middle aged man tries to chat up a pretty young thing during a bus journey (too many adjectives in one sentence?), and how the girl eventually has the last laugh. Naturally this bit was directed by a woman, Anjali Menon J.

6. Aviraamam

Again, I could not much grasp the point of this story except maybe the power of love or whatever, which to me felt kind of tame here. It made me think of the concept of suicide, but not to a degree that I may re-evaluate my distaste for it. Another lame story if I may say so.

7. Off-season

This one was funny, witty in bits I suppose. But yet again.. what is it trying to say?? Oh and apparently u can say fuck multiple times in Malayalam movies (!!). Kovalam is now on my honeymoon wishlist by the way.

8. Bridge

I can’t pinpoint why or whetheri even did like this documentary, but I nearly cried so I know it must have touched me on some level. It talks about 2 separate but similar heartbreaking scenarios very realistically. And it got me very conflicted because while I knew what the 2 protagonists were doing was wrong, I could notconfidently say to myself I might not have done the same thing in the same scenario. Brilliant performances by all the actors.

9. Makal

Makal, means daughter in Malayalam and this story did nothing to stop the incoming onslaught of tears that had begun last segment. Yes, I am far too easy. Actor-director Revathy handled a very sadly real topic pretty well. A poverty stricken family is forced to give away their daughter to a seemingly well-off and loving couple looking for a child. It wasn’t completely shocking but I was still fighting against the prospect that things may not be as they seem. Ofcourse they weren’t. Off went little Selvi (or whatever her name was), another pawn in the flesh trade. I wish, at some point in my life, I could make a difference to such despicable phenomena, instead of sitting here talking about and crying about it. The little brother, the peacock feather she held, the hopes she had, the fact that her family might never even find out..

10. Puram Kazchakal

The last movie, looked promising to say the least, with Srinivasan (one of my favorites) and Mammooty (One of Kerala’s favorites) in the star cast. Being the sentimental piece of crap that I am I did cry, but I really feel this film didn’t do much but make us all feel bad about ourselves. Maybe the most it taught me was to not judge people in a hurry. Imagine, just for a moment that maybe that person you’re antagonizing has a good reason. Otherwise, I think this movie just very cheaply and desperately exploits human sentimentality to make it work.

So these were some of the thoughts that were bursting out of my mind as I was watching the movie. I tried to jot them down with as few spoilers as possible just in case anybody ends up reading this and would like to watch the movie. Its not the best Malayalam movie I’v seen, but it holds a lot of promise. It reminded me of how much Malayalam and quite a few Tamil films are ahead of mainstream Bollywood in terms of acting, costumes, realism and story.